I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
