I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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