Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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