just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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