get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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