you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize