Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
