if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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