Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
