This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
