Having a random hookup so left but love u
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
