If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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