she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
