Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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