Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
