my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize