drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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