YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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