we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
