Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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