3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
