remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
