we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize