those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He? As in you personified your dick?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
