As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize