We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
