He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So vagazzling was a success
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
