i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize