There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
