hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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