You really coming over, don't trick.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
