Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
