I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I know her cup size but not her name....
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
