remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
