i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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