Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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