This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize