He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
