let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
