You really coming over, don't trick.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
