Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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