people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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