Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
