im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
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