All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
