dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
