"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
