New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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