I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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