You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
