ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
