he thought i was a dude.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
