Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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