I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
