i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize