I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
How naked do you want me to be?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
