She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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