He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize