singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
