what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize