I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
