I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
