i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
